Of Family, Love & Friendship

when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
should one wait for a love to end, for a family to break or for friendship to fade? or should one keeps chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere? (from adelle)

i've been pondering on this question for awhile now, trying to find the answer and trying to figure out the best action to take. i found out, it is not easy. it is never easy. every solution i can think of is associated to pain. and when i seriously think about it, i lose the courage. i sometimes tell myself that i would rather get trapped in this current situation than push myself a little harder to act on it. but would it be the right thing to do?

my family is currently undergoing a relationship turmoil, which i consider really serious. my father started it and i cannot put the blame to anyone but him. when it comes to issues in our family especially with my parents, i don't immediately judge anyone. i try to understand each in the best way i can. i am the eldest and its by default that i get all the information firsthand. but this time, i am over and done with all the understanding and patience. enough is enough! i can't bear to see my mother in pain and hurting. i can't tolerate insensitivity and pride. and most of all, i don't support passiveness because he thinks he is right and just because he provides for our needs. i am not sure how long i could act this way towards him but i am sure that my respect has been stained. i could only bring it back if he shows any effort that he is sorry.

next week, Mario is coming to Singapore to be with me and hopefully get a job. lately, we've been arguing madly. his passiveness is freaking me out big time and i think my OC-ness is getting to his nerves as well. how can i compromise? i hate procrastination especially when i know important things need to be finish on time or way before the time. i hate panicking! i can't seem to push him to do things fast (or do things my way coz his way is pure lousiness. yes, i'm not a kind girlfriend because i know him too well). i am just worried he might forget some things to do and some things to bring but he is not getting my point. enough is enough! i am letting him be. i am letting him do things his way. i am exhausted from always reminding him to do this and that. i just hope he won't forget a single thing this time or else it will be world war 3. gosh, i sound so mean! but yes, i am.

lately, i have been seriously doing a "friendship evaluation". i don't know what that means exactly but its similar to deleting-so called friends' names-in all accounts. :D don't get me wrong, i am not that harsh. i just don't like getting in touch with unhealthy friends. though it maybe hard to let go of them sometimes because somehow they have contributed something to what i am now, but still they are "unhealthy" and they should be forgotten. enough drama of wanting to be friends with everyone and enough trying to find friends who doesn't even want to be found. in my 27 years of living and laughing, i have learned that i can choose my friends just like how i choose my battles. i know in my heart that i have true friends and they are the ones whom i can trust and call anytime, anywhere. not to mention, the ones i can chat all day, all night :D

so, when do you get to that point of enough is enough?
i say, our hearts will tell us so.