Some days are just not better

so this is one of my "not so" good days. i admit i'm being pessimistic for quite awhile now. this inspite of the positive "insights of the day" i receive in my email and some other "law of attraction" articles.

a lot of things are just running circles in my head. sometimes i convince myself to lie low from all the hassles and worries but there's no denying that i simply can't avoid it. its hard to forgive myself for worrying too much of some things that are yet to happen. that's just me...a worry-freak!but in fairness, im almost in the opposite side now. crawling myself really hard to get there. but see, i can't do this alone. i need other people to help me out. and i am freakingly expecting this from my loved ones - family, closest friends (if i have one), and yes from the boyfriend.

many times, i felt that its only this little nook that is giving me comfort. i can write anything, anytime. i can rant and rave and i feel peaceful and happy afterwards even if i don't get any response. i admit, im badly longing for this kind of comfort, to say the least *sigh*.

but of course, i still want to be on track. i still want to believe in magic and miracles. i still want to believe that this year is my year, that this year something grand will happen. that this year, all my dreams will come true. i still want to but some days are just not better...